Snap Judgments - A Quick Review of 5 Movies

1408 (2007) – The Reaping meets Vacancy when writer John Cusack spends nights in creepy motels to evaluate (and debunk) their spookiness. He meets his match in room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel in New York. Written by Ed Wood/People vs. Larry Flynt co-scribes Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski and based on a short story by Stephen King, the dialogue is very good (near great) but some scenes are unforgivably cruel and the coda is a letdown. Cusack’s bland brand of acting and concierge Samuel L. Jackson’s typical preachy delivery aren’t helping either. C+

Home of the Brave (2006) – National Guard Iraq War veterans return home to Spokane, Washington to continue their lives. The opening sequence in Iraq is as clichéd as it gets with the crew on their “last mission” and men running to the camera screaming “NOOOO!” Things don’t improve much stateside. You can almost see the writer’s yellow sticky notes all over his computer as he clumsily makes all of his points. The debate about the Iraq War is reduced to kindergarten level and the film is unintentionally racist with the black characters turning to violence and booze and the white characters succeeding in small, underwhelming jobs. Nice work, everybody. The brave men and women of the National Guard deserve better. C-

You Kill Me (2007) – Sir Ben Kingsley plays a Buffalo alcoholic hitman sent to LA to sober up. He meets Tea Leoni and falls in love while a gang war continues in Buffalo. As mob bosses, Philip Baker Hall and Dennis Farina do their best to breathe life into the script, but the gangster/hitman-in-therapy thing has been funnier (Analyze This -not That) and much better (The Sopranos). Kingsley is light-years away from the greatness of his Sexy Beast performance and Director John Dahl’s (Red Rock West, The Last Seduction) once promising career hits a new low. C-

The Brothers Solomon (2007) – Will Arnett and Will Forte play brothers who try to satisfy their dying father’s last wish of becoming a grandfather. Since they grew up in the Arctic, they’re kind of strange and unappealing to women. They pay SNLer Kristen Wiig to carry their child, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend Chi McBride. The actors Will frequently smile ridiculously, often at the camera and their social awkwardness is somewhat amusing, but Forte’s script replays that joke dozens of times too many. The best joke involves an advertising banner on a plane, but by then, it’s too little, too late. At least it’s better than Let’s Go to Prison, Arnett’s other starring role, but then, so is a colonoscopy. D+

September Dawn (2007) – On September 11, 1857, 120 “gentiles” from Arkansas were massacred in Utah by Mormons after surrendering. Given its clunky Romeo and Juliet subplot and the wretched acting, this may have been better suited for a 30 minute History Channel program. The American West is always beautiful to look at, but director Christopher Cain (Young Guns?) goes out of control with the close-ups. As the local Mormon leader, Jon Voight hams and craps it up. Mr. Voight, lock up your Coming Home Oscar, before someone takes it away. The date of the massacre is an interesting coincidence, but if anyone made a film this one-sided about Muslims, with saliva and blood dripping from their mouths as they murdered Christians, they’d be called xenophobic. D+