Snap judgments - a quick review of 5 movies

Premonition (2007) – Sandra Bullock is informed her husband has been killed in a car accident, then wakes up the next morning finding him alive. This has as much to do with “premonition” as Déjà Vu had to do with “déjà vu”. Bullock is fine as the depressed and desperate housewife, but the story makes less sense than The Lake House. And at least that movie had the undeniable chemistry of Bullock and Keanu. The movie ends strong, though. The best scene in the movie is with a priest in the third act. The message about finding the important things in life ties the movie up better than it deserves. C+

Note to the ladies: if you find out your husband is cheating and want to keep him, tell him he’s going to be killed in a car wreck. Apparently, that seems to work.

Diggers (2006) – Four friends working as clam diggers in 1976 Long Island are losing their jobs as independent workers to a new corporation who is forcing the little guy out of business. Of the four, the druggie has some genuine laughs but the ladies’ man is underwritten. As one of the four, screenwriter Ken Marino is overbearing and obnoxious at first, but eventually settles down nicely. Best of all is Paul Rudd, who is pretty great as the heart of the movie. Lots of clichés and uneven at times, but the overall result is effective. The music is very good and appropriate. B-

Black Snake Moan (2007) – Samuel L. Jackson chains nymphomaniac Christina Ricci to a radiator in an attempt to cure her. Everything else in this scattershot crapfest makes even less sense. Justin Timberlake is OK as Ricci’s boyfriend who is sent to Iraq before the opening credits. He quickly gets honorably discharged for “nerves” and begins looking for Ricci who has already had sex with two other dudes. When he finds her, I wish he would have 1) cut a hole in a box, 2) put his junk in that box, and 3) got her to open the box. Instead, he still acts scared and she’s still promiscuous, but they think they’re good for each other. Jackson has some good scenes playing the blues on guitar, but his motives, reasons, and actions make no sense even upon cursory inspection. D+

Lonely Hearts (2006) – John Travolta and James Gandolfini play two fat cops investigating the murderous spree of a bald Jared Leto and a fellatio-giving Salma Hayek. Scott Caan is more annoying than usual and Laura Dern waits around for John Travolta to come home from the buffet, I mean, the investigation. The movie takes place after WWII as Leto/Hayek team up to rob war widows of their savings. When a movie with this much star power goes straight to video, there’s usually a reason. C-

The Number 23 (2007) – Jim Carrey is given a book from wife Virginia Madsen and begins to feel the book has crazy parallels to his actual life. The book is also obsessed with the number 23. The much maligned director Joel Schumacher actually combines some great visuals with interesting music (especially the “suicide blonde” sequence). Carrey tries hard to sell the story, but ultimately, the screenwriter lets them both down as he tries to outdo the endings of The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense, and Fight Club all at the same time. C