A Single Man, C+

Rated R, On DVD, 99 minutes

First things first: this movie’s gorgeous. Pretentiously so, really. Every camera angle, every scene, every cut, is perfectly weighted, perfectly framed. The interiors of the homes, perfect. Considering that this is the labor of love of Tom Ford, the re-energizer of the House of Gucci and potentially the most important designer of his generation, the clothes are certainly perfect. Perfect like one of Ford’s series of print ads, with every minimalist piece in place, burnished and shiny. That, coupled with an Oscar-nominated performance from Colin Firth, is enough for the opening third, but at about that point a person does begin to ask if there’s anything going on here besides beauty and sadness? The answer, alas, is not much.

The plot: Colin Firth is George, a middle-aged, college literature professor and the single man of the title. He is single in two ways: 1) He’s a gay male in the U.S. in the 1960’s, so marriage is not an option for him and 2) his partner of 16 year, Jim (Matthew Goode, Match Point), recently died in an automobile accident. This death has all but incapacitated George, leaving him a cool shell of a man moving through his expected last day making detached, tragic double entendres. He has decided to teach a final class, meet up with old friend and one-time fling Julianne Moore, then blow his brains out. Firth does all this brilliantly. If we don’t see inside George, we’re told we won’t, that he must construct a facade every morning as he dresses. Problem is, this movie already plays too much like an ad campaign, all shiny veneer and atmosphere with no substance. And so, while we don’t really want to watch a bullet exit anyone’s brain, in the end it seems as likely—and unlikely—as anything else, because we never actually get to know anything about George besides his intellect and his sadness. That, after awhile, starts feeling like a super-depressed, super-smart guy down the hall in college. You’d like to say you knew him, but you don’t really want to hang out with him.

Speaking of college, there’s a student in one of George’s classes (Nicholas Hault, Marcus from About a Boy!) that takes a shine to him, in more ways than one it appears, and looks him up after hours (Spoiler Alert!!), eventually bringing him out of his stupor and, apparently, convincing him that life is indeed with living. This is where I really began to have significant problems with this film. Firth is 50 and Hault is 20 and plays his student. Maybe it’s because I’m in the academic world, but come on! This is how Colin gets his groove back? Getting naked with one of his students, talking about doing drugs with him, and getting him drunk? I don’t want to call reverse discrimination, but could a heterosexual man making a heterosexual-themed film get away portraying all this in a positive, yea salvific, light?

Finally, on the subject of homosexuality, this movie is homoerotic in a way a movie like Brokeback Mountain never was. While the scenes in Brokeback were more explicit by far than anything in this film, they were also shot with a matter-of-fact quality that never romanticized or eroticized the subject matter. This film is the opposite. While the physical contact is limited to an occasional pretty chaste kiss, the camera isn’t nearly so chaste, repeatedly zooming in on abs and backs and butts. Goodness knows there are plenty of straight movies that have done the same and worse, but I didn’t expect it in a movie with these aspirations that takes itself this seriously. On a side note, while the film is ultimately too vacuous and homoerotic, it’s a solid first film from Tom Ford. If he can figure out what he wants to say with all the beauty he can capture, he could make a fine filmmaker. C+