Crank

What do you get if you cross the testosterone-drenched action pictures from the 80s with the kinetic visual "style" of Michael Bay? A bloody mess.

Jason Statham plays a hit man who is injected with a poison that will slowly kill him until he realizes he feels better when his adrenaline is pumping and his heart is racing. He does everything he can, including fighting, drugs, sex, and driving fast to keep himself alive. Basically it's Speed in a human body, just add the violence of Total Recall and the sexism of MASH.

For those of you who just put this in your Netflix queue, I know a couple of psychiatrists to help you.

Statham is a solid action star who is pretty good in the Transporter movies. He has a natural charisma and does well with this ridiculous situation. He's best when trying to keep his occupation from his girlfriend Amy Smart. Set in Los Angeles, the movie serves up every possible racist cliche not caring about who's offended. It is somewhat refreshing to see a movie like this in a PC world. The violence is way over the top, the climax is a ripoff of True Romance, and the movie treats women alternatively as sex objects or dogs (sometimes both simultaneously- Ahem). This probably would play best at a frathouse. C

Medical mistake: If you inject epinephrine intravenously, you will have the opposite effect of viagra. (But maybe Statham is more of a man than the rest of us.)