The Karate Kid (2010) - C-

In a remake that epitomizes everything wrong in Hollywood, the introduction of Mr. Han (tediously played by Jackie Chan) references the 1984 original by showing his attempt to catch a fly with chopsticks. But instead of revealing strong character traits like patience, discipline, and restraint, he violently squashes it with a big flyswatter with the alternate hand. This lack of subtlety is demonstrated throughout the rest of the film with the hysteric antics of Taraji P. Henson and the mugging face of Jaden Smith. Director Harold Zwart generically films the boring dialogue while mismanaging the confusing fight scenes . . .

In this update, a Detroit single mother (Henson) and her son Dre (Smith) move to Beijing for her job. He immediately gets bullied by some one-dimensional thugs and then meets a maintenance man (Chan) with a troubled past and a knack for kicking butt. Mr. Han's backstory is much less noble and he has absolutely zero sense of humor (one of the best and most memorable parts of Pat Morita's Mr. Miyagi). Like the original film, the single mother is mostly forgotten as the film progresses to a tournament that has Dre taking on his rivals.

One of the biggest problems of the film is the change in the protagonist's age. Being a 12 year old obviously takes away the romantic rivalry aspect of the first film. It also makes Chan look unforgivably abusive when he beats up a bunch of kids. There is a girl (who's given her own superfluous violin recital), but their relationship is forced at best. This is the kind of film that asks you to believe that a classically trained violinist who does nothing else can suddenly dance better than an LA Laker girl when someone just asks her to.

The initial training sessions are simplistic and implausible since the jacket "moves" don't even come close to what Dre uses later in the film. Mr. Han then takes Dre to the Great Wall for no good reason other than to show that they are actually in China. It also shows that Dre's mother doesn't mind her young son going off with an unshaven, disheveled, borderline alcoholic she barely knows (apparently there are no pedophiles in China). Dre runs across a Kung Fu master who can control a cobra's mind. When Mr. Han says that it takes a lifetime to master the technique, you can be damn sure that Dre will have it down pat in 6-8 weeks to use at the lifeless, predictable tournament.

The original film had brilliant acting by Morita and Ralph Macchio (both in their signature roles). When Daniel LaRusso says, "You're the best friend I've ever had", you really believe him. When Dre says it, you don't care. (Thankfully, Chan doesn't even try Morita's classic reply "You pretty OK too"). The music in the first by Bill Conti is inspiring and moving; the music in the remake is as generic as it gets - probably the same score used for dozens of films during the past 2 years. The first film also had a strong soundtrack (led by "Cruel Summer") - all we have here is an end credits Justin Bieber-Jaden Smith debacle that will have you reaching for the mute button. C-After a recent viewing of the original, I was struck by how long director John G. Avildsen let the scenes play out without cutting - allowing his actors to genuinely react to each other. The original blonde bad guys were similar but unique in their own ways (inarguably lost in the remake). The East Coast-West Coast rivalry is there as is an Aryan-Italian one. The 1984 film looks like a mini-masterpiece in retrospect - only slipping with a few dated songs. 1984 version: A-