Favorite Scenes - So I Married An Axe Murderer

Mike Myers: I'd like to place an announcement. It's my parents' 50th anniversary.

Clerk: That's fifty cents per word.

Michael Richards (to Frank, the obituary writer): You having a busy week, Frank?
Frank: No, just these two. It's been dead around here. I got this tourist,
heart attack on a cable car.

Richards: Guy left his heart in San Francisco.
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Clerk: That's a real person you're talking about.

Richards: All right, I'm sorry.
Frank: There's another one. San Francisco plumber- Elliot, Ralph (ed note this is the name of one of Myers' current girlfriend's alleged ex-husbands - he is trying to find out if she killed him). Disappeared four months ago. The body was found in a sewer.

Richards: Guy takes his job too seriously, life goes down the drain.

Myers (seriously): Did they mention his wife?

Richards: I know that we're talking about real people here, so I'm sorry.
Myers: Seriously, did they mention the wife?

Richards: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to joke about other people's lives.

Myers: I'm serious. Did they mention--?

Richards: You win, okay? I'm a bad person.

Frank: -Take it easy.

Richards: -No, he's saying I'm a sh!t.
Myers: Did they mention the wife? Did they mention the wife!

Richards: No! They didn't mention the wife! You happy?
Yes, I'm insensitive!
I'm a very insensitive man!

Stop! Look at the insensitive man!
That's why they pay you!

Frank (to Myers): He was my ride home.

Myers: Understood.

Click here to watch most of the scene - the delivery from Richards is priceless.