Recent Rental Reviews

1. The Cove - B+. This recently released documentary exposes the unnecessary and inhumane slaughter of thousands of dolphins in Taiji, Japan. The film follows Flipper's original trainer as he tries to stop the killing and the team he assembles to film the garish activity in a very secret cove. Efficient direction and a few good characters make the film interesting and engaging, even if I don't really equate dolphins to humans like the filmmakers do. I especially loved the portrayal of Japan's politicking at the IWC (International Whaling Commission).

Click below for 4 more mini-reviews:

2. Road to Perdition. A. Finally, right? This contemplative story of fathers, sons and sins is right up my alley. Mendes' direction and Hanks/Newman deliver on a film with only tiny flaws.

3. Love Actually. B+. Already stated here, but this is one of my favorite Christmas films. Most of the storylines work great, with unique setups and satisfying conclusions.

4. Inglourious Basterds. A-. Holds up on a second viewing, especially Pitt and Waltz.

5. The Hangover. B+. Also holds up. Favorite part is Ed Helms and I now appreciate Galifikanakis more.

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Song of the Day - Pink Houses, John Mellencamp

This one makes me feel like a good American. Love the guitar riff in the chorus.

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Song of the Day - Alive, Pearl Jam

Don't forget this great song off of Ten. Touching story about the song from Vedder at the beginning of this clip with an emotional ending. Some of the best guitarwork of the 90's with really great angsty lyrics.

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Sherlock Holmes C+

In Theatres, 128 Minutes, Rated PG-13
There are a couple ways to reboot an established film series. One, ably illustrated by the Daniel Craig reboot of the 007 series, is to cut away the access and the layers of crap that have built up over the year and re-imagine the series while preserving its essence. So, the new Bond films are not only good films, but also good James Bond, even though the gadgets, never-ending supply of women, and constant double entendres have been eliminated. The second is to keep the access and the layers of crap—the name, the general premise—while cutting out the essence. The new Star Trek has done this about as well as can be imagined. Star Trek isn’t actually a good Star Trek movie at all, but it is a fun film. This second tact would appear to be the one taken by the (newly Madonna-less) Guy Ritchie in his new offering Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately, not only is this movie not a very good Sherlock Holmes film, it’s not a very good film either. (Full Disclosure: I read The Complete Sherlock Holmes at some point in high school—both volumes. So, I’m a bit geeky on the detective and his fearless sidekick Watson).

The plot is occult-heavy mumbo-jumbo involving a serial-killing Lord Blackwood who has become an extremely powerful dark wizard (no, you have not stumbled into a Harry Potter review). He’s captured and hung, but not before issuing a warning to our fearless detective that many more would die and he would return. Resurrect he (apparently) does with an endgame taken straight out of 1960’s Bond- first capturing parliament then world domination.

Robert Downey Jr. is great fun as Sherlock and in some ways is closer to Holmes than usually portrayed. Although generally played as a killjoy egghead, the stories show an athletic man, fond of boxing, who enjoyed shooting his pistol in doors and was not against using a bit of cocaine in between cases. Watson, well played by Jude Law as a Sherlock Holmes-lite, could not be further from the source material, but is still a raucous goodtime. Their interaction is a bit flirty for my taste, but that’s the way they’re playing their guy-guy friendships in Hollywood these days (thank you, Judd). Unfortunately, the usually dependable Rachel McAdams is reduced to little more than window dressing and falls flat on some badly written dialogue she can’t seem to rise above. That’s too bad, because her role could and should have been a great deal more. The mid-1800’s London is a foggy, dank, ribauld mess of a town and would have stolen the show from a lesser actor than Downey.

This movie plays like a set-up for sequels. Downey and Law (and maybe McAdams) would be a lot of fun to see re-united. Let’s hope next time they get a better plot. C+

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Invictus - B-

In theaters. Rated PG, 134 minutes. Trailer.

Sports and politics can come together to make a great and powerful film. Director Clint Eastwood tries to do this with the story of South Africa's journey through the 1995 rugby World Cup and the involvement of famed South African president Nelson Mandela. The film begins with Mandela's election after his release from prison and the end of apartheid. His election has empowered the black majority and produced anxiety for the white elite minority. All of this sounds great, but, unfortunately the film turns into a simpleton's tale of racial harmony and turning the other cheek. Click below for more on an overly complicated episode of Diff'rent Strokes:

Immediately upon assuming the presidency, Mandela begins to try and embrace the whites and counsel the blacks away from retribution. His goal is a diverse and vibrant country and he is in constant pursuit of things to further the goal. He seizes upon the South African national rugby team, the Springboks, to provide a way of bring the country together. Traditionally the blacks have always rooted against the Springboks because they symbolized Apartheid and the whites have idolized the Springboks.

Mandela embraces the Springboks and their captain Francois (Matt Damon) when he could have had the whole team scrapped. The film follows his struggle to bring the country together around the rugby team's journey through the World Cup. Francois balances his growing understanding and reverence of Mandela's character with his family and teammates' rejection of his leadership.

The main portion of the story is probably a strong B, but the side stories and musical choices are embarassing. The security detail is straight out of a 80's message sitcom and the music regularly hijacks the tone - the patented Eastwood 'smooth jazz' soundtrack is all over the place and one song in particular named......wait for it......"Colorblind". Please listen to it at least until the 55 second mark to really feel how bad it is.

Freeman and Damon are both superb in their roles and the film could've been much better if only Clint had focused on their relationship. The film is tedious at times and the rugby scenes go on and on and on. I cannot understand the critical acclaim being thrown at this film - it is on par with the Blind Side for a lack of nuance.

Skip it.

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Snap Judgments - a Quick Review of 5 Movies

JCVD

Much better than you'd ever expect. I'll second everything that Priest said here. Jean Claude Van Damme can act and his 5-6 minute monologue looking directly at the camera is the best moment of his entire career. All the movie references (Hard Target, Windtalkers, etc.) are spot-on. The directing draws attention to itself and is occasionally self-referential, but nonetheless exciting and thoughtful. B+

The Ugly Truth
There are moments of greatness when Gerard Butler gives the impossibly radiant Katherine Heigl the "ugly truth" and lays out exactly (and I mean exactly) how men think. The dialogue is refreshingly honest (i.e. R-rated) and Butler is very charismatic, delivering each line perfectly. But this being a modern romantic comedy, the plot becomes overly familiar and the ridiculous coincidences add up. Almost a B, but the rancid CGI during the hot air balloon finale drags it down. B-

The Proposal

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds shine as a bitchy boss and her longtime assistant who fake an engagement when she is threatened with deportation to Canada. The film paints itself into a corner when the only tension in the second half is if she will tell his family the truth. The majority of the film takes place in Alaska, but the CGI is so bad that you can tell it was shot in a studio. But the dialogue is playful enough for Bullock and Reynolds pull off some surprisingly good chemistry. B-

Passengers

You can't combine 2 of the best films of the 90s (Fearless and The Sixth Sense), fail to add interesting ideas, characters, or dialogue, and expect everything to come up aces. Anne Hathaway (who I'll apparently watch in anything) stars as an airline crash expert who sets up group therapy with a few surviving passengers. There are a few good jolts, but messing with audience just for the sake of it is hardly an excuse for a movie. C

Sin Nombre

It's getting a lot of year-end recognition as one of the best foreign language films of the year, but this 50-50 combo rip-off of City of God and El Norte is unpleasant, sadistic, misogynistic, depressing, and worst of all - boring. Everything it tries to do has been done infinitely better in those aforementioned films. Just watch City of God again. There's nothing to see here. Move along. Move along. C

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DVD and Blu-ray Releases 12/29/09

Carriers
Jennifer's Body - #
The Marine 2 - #
9 - #
Paranormal Activity - #
A Perfect Getaway - #
Weather Girl

# - also on Blu-ray

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Weekend Box Office: 12/25-12/27/09

Title/Gross/%Change/Total

1. Avatar: 75 mil / -3% / 212 mil
2. Sherlock Holmes: 65.4 mil / (-)
3. Alvin & Chipmunks 2: 50.2 mil / (-)
4. It's Complicated: 22.1 mil / (-)
5. Up in the Air: 11.8 mil / (+) / 25 mil
6. Blind Side: 11.8 mil / +17% / 184 mil
7. Princess & Frog: 8.6 mil / -29% / 63 mil
8. Nine: 5.5 mil / (+) / 5.9 mil
9. The Morgans?: 5 mil / -24% / 16 mil
10. Invictus: 4.4 mil / +4% / 23 mil
11. New Moon: 3 mil / -32% / 281 mil
12. Christmas Carol: 1.4 mil/-61%/136 mil

Huge weekend all around. It's Complicated was hurt by its R-rating (a pot-smoking scene was left in and MPAA would not budge after appeal). Nine belly-flops as expected, the Morgans die an ignominious death, and The Blind Side is the surprise hit of the year.

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Spread - C

Having never watched That 70's Show or Punk'd, my only knowledge of Ashton Kutcher consists of a second-rate romantic comedy starring Cameron Diaz, getting Bruce Willis's sloppy seconds, and getting fired off the set of Elizabethtown by Cameron Crowe due to his inability to act. But somehow, through the miracle of Entertainment Tonight and Twitter, Kutcher has remained in the pop culture. His latest starring role is Spread, where he plays Nikki, a homeless, suspender and boot wearing stud whose only commodity is bringing older women to an orgasm. Early on, he bunks down with Samantha (Anne Heche - who may not be scorching at the level of The Juror, but still ignites the screen). But Nikki's need to whore around with everyone in LA ruins his living arrangement with his sugar-momma and he's soon out on the street . . .

He meets and fights with former friends (most notably Rachel Blanchard - Sally from Flight of the Conchords), then falls in love with his female counterpart Heather, played by Margarita Levieva (Lisa P in Adventureland). Will Heather decide to marry money or the penniless Nikki? Will he discover that his selfish, meaningless, shallow existence is shallow, meaningless, and selfish? You probably won't care by the end. Early on, the sex and nudity keeps you awake but by the end, Kutcher's lifeless narration will have you nearly comatose. The plot contrivances (phone calls interrupting at the worst possible time, etc.) don't help and the flat cinematography and direction fails to bring life to modern LA. Kutcher's wardrobe is the worst of the decade. C

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Vic Chesnutt - RIP

Little known singer-songwriter (and member of Doyle's band in Sling Blade) Vic Chesnutt died today. His collection of songs are unknown but brilliant. Here's his fascinating obituary and my favorite version of one of his songs, Supernatural.

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Twilight and Thirst

Vampire films have been around for decades and their recent resurgence has been able to put a few twists on the traditional storyline. In Twilight, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) moves to Washington state to live with her small town police chief father after her mother decides to travel around with her new minor league baseball player boyfriend. Swan is clumsy and introverted, not particularly funny or interesting, but every single smiley kid in school immediately loves her anyway since she looks like Kristen Stewart. She meets Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) in biology glass, a pale and sickly looking lad who behaves stranger than the weirdest guy you can remember in high school. But she falls for him anyway. At one point she says that she is "irrevocably" in love with him. She should have said "inexplicably" since her actions (like everyone else in the film) make little to no sense . . .

The film spends over half its running time with a slow reveal that Edward as well as his brothers and sisters are vampires. This reminded me of The Sixth Sense spending a long time revealing that Cole can see dead people when that fact was used in the marketing. Not much makes sense in Twilight: Why do these teenage vampires even bother to go to high school? To act so strange that they expose who they really are? To skip out on sunny days thus drawing attention to themselves so they expose who they really are? Why does the whole family admit to being vampires and take Bella in, assuming her infatuation with Edward will last longer than all the other high school crushes ever. And why do the foster brothers and sisters "couple up" - to show how weird they are a provoke a CPS investigation? Does their vampire doctor father move his kids around every 4 years so they can repeat high school? Why bother?

Some might wonder why I should have bothered with this movie. Well, it seems like a minor cultural phenomenon and I try to understand trends going on out there. Twilight's mood shifts made me wonder if this is what it feels like to be a teenage girl. All the vampires overact (they must have been told to do this, but it's distracting) and plot feels truncated with leaps in logic the viewer is supposed to follow. It's like they had trouble adapting the novel and assume most of the audience has read the book and won't have a hard time following along. Stewart actually does an admirable job and holds the film together. And the film is watchable and pleasant without any real threat or suspense.

There's plenty of teeth, blood, suspense, and drama in Chan-Wook Park's Thirst, yet another spin on the vampire mythology that has a priest with a rare disease going under an experimental procedure that turns him into a vampire. Old Boy, Park's best film, was easy to follow because you had a relatable central character who's kept prisoner for 15 years for unknown reasons. When he sets out for revenge, you're with him all the way. In Thirst, the plot is too convoluted with many extraneous characters to be anything but exasperating. Toward the end, scenes felt like they were added on, as if Park didn't know where he was going from the get-go.

Which isn't say Park doesn't keep things exciting with unusual camera angles, terrific lighting, and some interesting scenes. Conflating religion and vampirism is an interesting conceit, but Park seems insistent on tearing down Christianity rather than exploring any similarities (such as the secular's unintentional formation of "religions" such as atheism and global warming). The story really needed a regular person that the audience could view the plot through (like Bella Swan). It started with an interesting premise but ultimately delivered very little except scene after uncomfortable scene with either gratuitous sex or ultra-violence. Both films, for very different reasons - C+.

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Merry Christmas!

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A Few (Completely Unrelated) Links

Here is an interesting article on pantheism and Avatar (I made mention of an off-shoot of pantheism, panentheism, in my review) by Russ Douthat from the NY Times. He discusses the honored place pantheism currently holds in Hollywood film and why it is ultimately lacking. While I'd argue that Avatar is modeling something a little different than classic pantheism, this isn't a theology blog so I'll let that go.

I love the Jay-Z/Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind". Here's Ms. Keys singing her version, "Empire State of Mind, Part 2" with Steven Colbert rapping. Best line: "All my shorties are private school educated."

And, finally, Lawyer's recent hilarious post of Jimmy Fallon doing Neil Young reminded me of these classic Troll Doll jingles he did. Part 1 (check U2) and, my fav, Part 2 (as Alanis Morissette).

And here is the rest of it.

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Song of the Day- The Mercy Seat

I love Johnny Cash and have most of his American Recordings collection. While his cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" gets the most love, my favorite is this Nick Cave number-- The Mercy Seat-- about a man waiting on death row for the electric chair. .

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Song of the Day - Down Under

By Men at Work's Colin Hay

An acoustic version of the early Reagan-era hit song shows what a great musical number it is - even better when stripped of the 80s frills and overly playful video. The lyrics are ridiculous and meaningless (and possibly drug-induced), but, like, totally work in a trashy 80s sort of way.

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DVD and Blu-ray Releases 12/22/09

All About Steve - #
American Pie: Book of Love
Beyond a Reasonable Doubt - #
Blind Date
District 9 - #, *
Extract - #
Family Guy: Something Dark Side - #
Ichi - #
It Might Get Loud - #
(500) Days of Summer - #
Staten Island - #

# also on Blu-ray
* - Doctor approved

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Song of the Day- Help I'm Alive

I'm digging this song by dance band Metric. You may recognize the voice of lead vocalist Emily Haines, who also releases music under her own name and is a member of Broken Social Scene. And here is the rest of it. And here is the rest of it.

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Julie & Julia - C-

Meryl Streep can't walk her dog or drop a deuce without getting Oscar buzz and her performance as Julia Child is a great impersonation. But Child was an incredibly annoying and indulgent person and listening to her talk and squeal is like jabbing a rusty screwdriver through your ears. And that's the good half of the film. In the modern day part of the film, Julie (Amy Adams) is a post 9/11 New York phone operator helping people with their grief/problems. She's obsessed with Child and decides to cook each of Child's famous recipes over the course of a year and write about it on her new blog. Adams is adorable but can't overcome the uninteresting and predictable script by Nora Ephron, who also directs . . .

badly. Is it a farce? A screwball comedy? A left-wing takedown of Joseph McCarthy? A period film showing beautiful France in the 1950s? A 9/11 cathartic weepy? A complicated depiction of modern marriage? All of the above? None of the above. It's all over the place and stretched too thin from the very first scene. There's absolutely no substance there - except cooking and eating - and the 2 stories don't connect in any way thematically. Stanley Tucci's effeminate performance as Child's husband and the incredibly condescending music don't help matters. C-

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Weekend Box Office: 12/18-12/20/09

Title/Gross/%Change/Total

1. Avatar: 73 mil / (-)
2. Princess & Frog: 12 mil / -50% / 45 mil
3. Blind Side: 10 mil / -33% / 165 mil
4. Did You Hear About the Morgans?: 7 mil / (-)
5. New Moon: 4.4 mil / -45% / 275 mil
6. Invictus: 4.2 mil / -52% / 16 mil
7. Christmas Carol: 3.4 mil / -50% / 131 mil
8. Up in the Air: 3.1 mil / +30% / 8.1 mil
9. Brothers: 2.6 mil / -48% / 22 mil
10. Old Dogs: 2.3 mil / -48% / 44 mil

Avatar opened big. The Blind Side and Up in the Air are holding up. People must have heard about the Morgans since few went to see them.

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Avatar B

In theatres, PG-13, 160 minutes
Where to start? Avatar would be one heck of a video game, which is what it most reminded me of. A very, very fun video game. It’s got the requisite big name actor or two coupled with top shelf voice actors, all shoe-horned into one-dimensional characters meeting occasionally to exchange clichés and dramatic speeches and set-up the next action sequence. But, and here’s the kicker, very, very good video games are a ton of fun. And so is Avatar. It’s a blast, actually, pretty much every minute except those that involve bloviating some Ferngully-brand spirituality (and, yes, you crazy panentheists, I realize Cameron’s suggesting some somewhat interesting things here).

I caught Avatar on an IMAX, 3-D screen, which I gladly endorse to anyone planning to see it. I think this was an extra $3, worth it if only for the pre-movie NASA Hubble telescope documentary trailer. The 3-D in Avatar was pretty seamless and not gimmicky, especially the CGI stuff (which is to say, almost the whole film). Speaking of that, this marks the first time I’ve seen computer-animated humans that I couldn’t tell from the real things. Instead of being creepy zombies, these were dead on.

As for the plot, 150 years in the future the moon Pandora (yes, the names are as subtle as the dialogue) has a super-valuable mineral that an earth mining company is attempting to mine. Problem is, they’ve also got 9-foot tall, blue, naked humanoids (the Navi) that live in a massive tree right over the biggest deposit. A team of scientists led by Sigourney Weaver (has anyone ever aged less?) have created “Avatars”-- biological robots that look just like the natives-- controllable via humans by patching into their brain activity. Paraplegic Marine Jake Scully (a good Sam Worthington) is one such avatar who is ostensibly there to help the scientists gather information but is really working for the para-military end of the mining business. His avatar is taken in by the Navi and he soon falls for the local princess (an excellent Zoe Saldana, the recent Star Trek) compromising his allegiance just as the miners determine to take significant military action. Of course, the real plot is whether the earthlings will completely destroy Pandora’s ecosystem as they have their own. A good chunk of pagan-style Mother Earth (or Mother Pandora, as it were) religious talk is thrown in, with a quasi-interesting notion of their local goddess being the sum total of the living things on their moon.

The entire world of Pandora is a visual feast, from the gorgeous undergrowth to the vast array of animals. Director James Cameron reportedly designed every piece of this flora and fauna. It does appear that we’ve reached a place with computerized graphics that if someone can dream it, they can make it, and make it look real. Speaking of gorgeous, the Navi are good-looking people, but so runway-model thin, they can’t be doing anything positive for the self-image of earthlings. And they are naked pretty much the whole time. Granted they aren’t humans, but for PG-13 both brother-of-Priest and myself felt like it was a bit ridiculous.

Still, there are some interesting notions here. In pretty much every other movie involving humans and aliens life meeting, the aliens come to earth and they attack us. This is because we make our aliens in our own image. But in this movie, we go to their land, and we attack them. It’s nice to think that we wouldn’t attack sentient beings just because they had something we wanted, but there is nothing in the history of humanity to make us think we wouldn’t. The idea of the Avatars, although not new to this film, is interesting as well and does seem to be inevitable.
To review: dialogue, sub-par; religion, schmaltzy; eco-message, heavy-handed; action, unbelievable; CGI, mind-blowing; acting, as good as the dialogue allowed; fun-quotient, off-the-charts; sociology, dead-on. B

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